Are you a mean mom?

I remember an article talking about being a mean mom and how good it is for your kids – cause that is what keeps them safe.

I never realized that until my daughter talked to me about her out of town school trip. Now she is not exactly the neatest or organized of people and like most teenagers she needs to be told a million times before she actually gets up and does what she is asked. However, while she was on this trip – she was the one who kept trying to pick up and keep the room clean. She said “I kept hearing your voices in my head to clean up and I could not sleep until I did.”

That is when I realized that the constant repetition does get through their heads eventually. There was a time when I was tired of hearing the sound of my own voice, repeating the same thing over and over again – but I am glad that I still do it.

Kids love order and rules. If they don’t have it – they have no idea what they are capable of. Most organizations have rules. You cannot live in society and expect to get away with not following rules. “I want to go to a school that has rules- so that I can break them” – says my rebellious teenager.

So have heart – if you are the kind of parent that repeats the same request until it gets done, are strict about curfews, want to know who their friends are, you are their parent and not their friend, monitor what they watch, say or do on the web, let them know when you are disappointed in their behaviour, expect them to meet certain expectations – that’s okay – your kids really do want it – they just don’t know it yet.

2 Responses to “Are you a mean mom?”

  1. Ajit Keshav Nair says:

    We reap what we sow.

    As a parent we are always concerned about our children, perhaps more as they grow up.

    We tell them, we tell them again, again & again. We also as them ask them if they heard what we said.

    Values are something today’s children make it a part of their lives. They observe a lot. They understand us more than we understand them. They are concerned about us, perhaps more than what we are for them. They love us but forget to tell us. We know it and also love to hear about it like they do.

    Effective communication with children has always helped us.

    Children feel bad because they feel we will never realise they have grown up. Their values are much stronger and we have to believe them.

    We are still children for our parents and they still tell us to grow up.

    We reap what we sow.

    Very effective communication and sharing with your daughter.

    Keep writing.

  2. Word Dancer says:

    Dude! Very profound, you totally inspire me.

    I can't stop writing, even if I want to :)

    Thanks for your words of wisdom.