Why does it come down to divorce?


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I am having a really hard time dealing with it – divorce, that is.  No, it is not mine. I never really thought I had an opinion either way and even when things were rough I refused to think of that eventuality. I am not for it but I am not against it either.  But I do realize that there is a time when you have to make that decision and I applaud those who have the courage to come to that decision.

So am I a coward because I refuse to think of that option? Or maybe just a diehard romantic who believes in happily ever after.  Or maybe I am one of those overly sensitive wimps who cannot handle being responsible for hurting so many people or maybe someone who finds it hard to transition from one phase to another.  There was a time when I thought of that route but then I think most people think like that at least at some point in their married life.

There are times when it just does not work out – the earlier you find out the better.  A friend told me there is a 2 year trial period after marriage – as you work out the kinks. Then when kids are involved it gets complicated. Of course there are other reasons like abuse and infidelity.  The more time and energy you invest in a marriage the harder it is to walk away, then again – just because you invested all that time does it mean that you have to stay?  Is it harder for the woman to walk away cause she has kids or easier for the man to walk away cause he can?  Are you a stronger parent cause you still survive when you are emotionally hurting or a better parent because you know what you want and go after it even if it is the hardest thing you will ever do in your life?

I saw a comedian once who explained why men are who they are because they can compartmentalize everything they do including their feelings, where as women spill emotions into everything.  The moment you understand how your partner operates – things start to fall into place.  Just like you can make noise only when you clap with two hands, things can work only if both parties are willing to try.  That is where irreconcilable differences come into play.  Your outlook changes, your expectations change, you grow up and you realize you want different things in life.

There are so many questions, there is no right or wrong answer – just making the right decision – such is life – I just wish it was easier to deal with.  So if it does not kill you, it must make you stronger – right?

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