I missed you!

Matt Buchanan from Flickr

It took me  while to figure out what it was. Why that sense of restlessness, like something is incomplete or not been accomplished.  Like I forgot something, the mind jumping from thought to thought like a drunken monkey.  The feeling of desolation and despair – how can one feel like that even when you have everything?

Nothing seems important.  Even though you are doing stuff your mind is on other things or you think it is on other things – you cannot focus.  You try to find meaning in things and try and figure out why you do the  things you do.  People ask you to slow down yet you feel like you are not going fast enough.  You are at a different pace from rest of the world yet your brain and hands cannot keep up with each other. Is this what love is? Is this how it makes you feel? Listless. Incomplete.

  It was all those thoughts and words in my head that was creating a traffic jam.  Simple ideas had to be pushed out before it got lost in the jumble.  Probably explains the burst of talking. When you get the message in different forms – there must be some truth to it. And then fingers hit the keys and the words began to flow and the traffic jam in my head started to clear.

If you have not already figured it out – it was the writing.  That was what was creating  the sluggish existence.  And now it all makes sense and the thinking is clearer.  The pace is just right, you figured out what needs to be done.  The cobwebs in your mind have been cleaned out and there is some semblance of order. O! How I have missed the writing. I am so glad to be back. :)

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