Managing Expectations

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Image by christianrevivalnetwork

This term really grabbed my attention.  They say that if you don’t want to get disappointed, you should not have expectations.  But then – how much work have you put into it to have that kind of expectation?

It is particularly hard in this day and age when there is so much happening around you and there is so much opportunity.  Parents expect their kids to do well and go out of the way to make sure that they have the opportunities.  The expectations from the kids are not any less.  They have more, they do more and they expect more.

But the trouble lies when the expectations are not in sync with the work that is put in or you make assumptions.  A classic example is applying to college.  At least here, in the United States, it is a very systematic process. You study hard, you get good grades, you involve yourself in activities that you enjoy, be passionate about what you do, apply early to college.  There are enough people and classes giving you information on what you need to do and how to do it in order to be successful.  But there is still the element of chance – along with you there are thousands of other kids who are also applying.  In spite of that – if you follow the process – you will be successful.

In the beginning of the application process – it all seems to be one giant puzzle and all you know is that you have to get to the other end.  As you break the process down into more manageable parts and a time line – it is not so bad after all.  You start building a relationship with the counselors and recruiters and they don’t seem so alien.  You plan on how to approach each college – and you know where you stand.

This is the case with any big project that you have to tackle.  Nobody likes to be surprised and it is so much easier if you have realistic expectations.  You cannot expect to go to an Ivy league if yo have not applied or found out what kind of students they are looking for.  You would not apply for a job in company where you don’t fit the culture, would you? Same concept.

Bottom line is – if you have put in the work – the results will be a reflection of that.  Best of Luck!

I don’t wanna die……

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Image by judepics

…so I am going to take a nap.  I know it sounds corny doesn’t it – but apparently not getting enough sleep can kill you.

So now what brought all this about? Have you heard that song from Owl City that goes something like -I feel like such an insomniac – why do I tire of counting sheep – when I’m too tired to fall asleep -?  Well, if you haven’t, then you should – cause it is a nice song.  But – getting back to the topic – some people are very good at doing things by losing sleep (self included).  It must have something to do with the martyr mentality – you know do everything for everyone else and do stuff for yourself last.  It took me a while to figure out that it also happens to be something you do when you don’t give yourself any credibility.  Well, if you don’t give yourself some respect, how do you expect anyone else to? Hmm good point.

That is all going to change – for a number of reasons.  The main one being if you do not take care of yourself – nobody else will – besides if you cannot function – how can you help others function.  This long trend of losing sleep to finish stuff has got to end – because there will always be stuff to do.  I was told I am always doing things like I am running out of time – in my defense all I can say is I have so much to do and not enough time.  But then again – I run out of steam pretty quick.

What freaked me out was when my sister told me I it does not matter if you exercise and eat healthy, if you don’t sleep.  So I did a little bit of research and found out she was right.  Sleep deprivation is a method of torture at Guantaonomo Bay – and prolonged lack of sleep does have a physical effect on your body – your immune system becomes weak, the hormone levels go up creating high blood pressure, your body stops metabolizing glucose properly and your body temperature drops. Take a nap and guess what happens – everything is back to normal.

After reading up all that – guess what – I need a nap!

I am Thankful

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Image by babasteve

It is that time of year that everyone takes for granted – after all it is Thanksgiving. While some are forced to spend time with family or fake the smile – I, on the other hand, am truly have a lot to be thankful for.

I am thankful for family, both near and far, for keeping in touch and sharing the joys and triumphs of  life.

I am thankful for friends – old ones and new, those who look out for me and tell me like it is and who accept me for who I am.

I am thankful for good health – strong knees and ankles so I can dance, mental strength so that I can prepare for the marathon, and a good memory – so I can remember everyone else’s schedules to keep them on track.

I am thankful to technology – it opens up a whole new world, so much can be accomplished in so little time, and what is thousands of miles away is now a few minutes away.

I am thankful for being surrounded by love and positivity and hope for when times are bad – that is what sustains you.

I am thankful for the abundance the universe has to offer.

I am thankful for being here now!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Raising boys

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Image by Alaskan Dude

As a mom you have heard them all – girls are easier to raise, boys are easier to raise, it must be because the girl is older, it must be because the boy is younger and every other combination in between.

But let me tell you something – and I am sure many of you who are parents will agree and those who are not will probably freak out but it does not matter if it is a boy or girl, older or younger – its trial and error all the way and there is no ifs and’s or buts about it. No two children are the same, no two parents handle the same issue the same way – so everything is a learning experience.

So coming back to the reason for this post – I have to figure out a way to raise my boy right. Its not that he does not get it – he does – but how do I make sure that he cares that he got it – get it?  Of course when I air my grievances, I get laughed at.  Yup, you heard right – laughed at.  So this is what the conversation sounded like:

Me: I don’t what to do with him?

The Laugher: so what did he do?

Me: nothing

The Laugher: No so tell me what did he do?

Me: I told you Nothing!

The Laugher: Wait – so you don’t know what to do cause he has not done anything – how old is he?

Me: yeah, – he is 12 – he does not want to do anything – he just wants to find the easiest way to do stuff.

The Laugher : Laughs!  and keeps laughing.!!!

Me (the laughee): Why are you laughing? This is not funny.

The Laugher:  Actually it is – isn’t that what most people want to do – find the easiest way not to do work or not do anything at all? Leave him alone – he is fine.

Me: (the laughee): You mean this is perfectly natural for him to not care and not do stuff for his age? And here I think I failed as a parent??????

You see what I mean by trial and error. O the joys of parenthood!  So if you have any tips on raising boys I am all ears.

The Devil is in the Details

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Image by Son of Groucho

I never thought about what that means – but it really sounds cool – don’t you think?

Now I am not only thinking about it – I am working the details. But it is not just me, it is everything in everything – if that makes any sense.

For example – if you have to read a book and talk about it – if you have not read the book in detail and remember – when someone talks about a certain aspect – you just would not get it.  I remember when they were talking about the government writing the bailout plan – how do you know who get s affected and who gets the benefit – you have to read the details to know it.

There are lots of projects in life, at work, at home – an everyone talks about the most obvious stuff – however if the little things are not taken care of – there may not be a project to take care of because – the devil is in the details.

You learn to play a particular piece of music on your instrument and you play something thinking no one will notice, but of course your teacher catches you on it – why? because she has seen it enough times and knows her stuff – the devil is in the detail.

You have a project at work, things are going well and then you hear you have to make a presentation to the bigwigs.  So you frantically prepare a slide presentation that gives all the details and when you go and present it, questions are asked.  Of course they pick on the small things that make a difference – but of course you knew that didn’t you – because the devil is in the details.

So it does not matter what you do, you want to be known as an authority on stuff – focus on the details. If you want the project to be successful – focus on the details.   If you want to know where things can go wrong – focus on the details.

Why? you ask?  If you have not already figured it out – it is because the devil is in the details.  That’s why.