Romance

There is nothing wrong in believing in Happily Ever After. I am a die hard romantic. I get made fun of a lot because I believe in romance. I admit, it is my guilty pleasure – reading romance novels. But I have to defend it – it makes you look at the world in a whole new perspective.

I don’t think there is anything wrong in believing in romance -just because other people don’t believe in it does not mean it does not exist.

Reading those romance novels is like opening Pandora’s box. It gives you hope that the good things in the world do exist, there is abundance for everyone and the good people do win. A positive person cannot survive in negativity for long, they cannot gossip about people and find pleasure in other’s misery. When you are in a situation like that it drains you, you are exhausted and depressed. Watching the news is just as depressing – all you hear is of plane crashed, deaths, murders and scams.

So now you say that in real life you have problems – well, in almost very story there is a hero and a heroine and there is a conflict or many conflicts. It is the resolving of the conflicts and the process that they take to resolve the conflict that makes it interesting. Of course it does make it fun if the hero is tall and dark and handsome and rich but at the end of the day it is the person inside that counts – what kind of character he/she is and how does he/she perceive the world. the interesting thing is art imitates life – a lot of those stories are based on people that do exist. For a writer – it is such freedom to create the character you want and make it behave the way you think it should.

I have heard many a time that life is not fair – but life is fair, you just don’t know all the facts. In a romance novel – the facts all are presented to you at one time so the conflict resolution is easy.

Some say it is an escapism – but then so is television isn’t it? A good escapism is my mind. I get to meet all these characters that I had no idea existed and I get to find out how they resolved a conflict and I don’t have to wait till next week or ads to find out what happened next. Sounds like a plug for reading doesn’t it? Hey if the shoe fits…

Passing Judgement

Sometimes I wonder why being good takes so much effort.

It is so easy to criticize and pass judgement on others especially when we don’t have to be in their shoes. What is it about human nature that makes them want to be one up on every body else?

Look around you and take note of the conversations in your head and the comments that come out of people’s mouths. It is always about why someone is doing,saying, wearing or making a decision about some that you did not like. What is interesting is that if you were in the same shoes as the other person, you would probably make the same choices, so what’s the big deal?

Why does that happen? When people do that – they are projecting their own unhappiness to the universe. Why are people unhappy – because they want to be in a different situation and are fighting the one they are in now. So what do you do? Stop fighting the situation and go with the flow – you are much more likely to drown if you fight the current than if you go with the flow.

So how do you stop passing judgement? Understand that everyone has a purpose in this world. For each person they are where they are because of the choices they made. There is enough abundance for everyone so there is no need for you to be envious of the success of any other person. They got where they are because of their hard work. Be happy for them and good things wil happen to you too. Try it and see.

Get out of your Comfort Zone

When you work for a a fast paced aggressive company, you are constantly trying to prove yourself. It works very well for Type A personalities where they thrive on being on the edge. However for those that are not Type A’s there is something to learn from that.

Being in a situation where you are not comfortable means you have to learn, learn quickly and pretend like you know it all and show it. I have found that works not only in a fast paced aggressive company but also in all aspects of life.

Nobody likes a whiner – it gets you down after a while. You get tired of listening to the same sob story over and over again. So if you are the whiner, stop whining, learn from your past and move on. It is hard for some people to do that, really hard.

If you walk around like a doormat – life will treat you like one. So stop being a doormat. Stand up for what you believe in, have faith and keep doing. After all how do you know where you stand unless you actually do something.

And while you are doing what you love, don’t be afraid, smile and have fun. And when you look around you and see that people don’t want to talk to you or they start talking about you – then guess what – you must be doing something right after all.

Carpe Diem! Seize the Day!

Decision time

Sometimes I wish I had a crystal ball so that I could tell my kids if the choices they made are the right ones. Sometimes I wish I could tell if the choices I made are the right ones.

This time of life is hard – both for parents and children. This time meaning summer before senior year of high school. It is time to make that crucial decision – which college to go to. Unlike when I was growing up – there is more than just plain academics that are involved. Academics does play a major role but there are other factors that are involved as well – the essay, the extra curricular, the leadership skills – all of that and more.

We have gone on so many college tours – after a while it all blended together. We have talked to so many people in so many positions at colleges including professors, counselors, admission committee members – but none of them could give you a straight answer – it all depends – was the common answer to the question – will I get admitted to this college.

The decisions you make at this time is important – early decision, early admission, binding, non binding – you plan and calculate what you want, where you want to go, how far is it, big school or small school, urban or rural, public or private – so many decisions. The colleges are narrowed down, the application is out. This is the summer of essay writing – where you put on paper why you think you are the best student to go that school.

I really wish I had a crystal ball but I don’t. So all I can say to those in the same boat is – believe in yourself, don’t listen to the naysayers, put your heart into writing those essays and keep working hard even in your senior year of high school because it ain’t over till it is over.

A Celebration

It was an emotional occasion, a graduation party for a senior going off to college.
I am sure for most grad parties – the occasion calls for friends, food and games. But Indian grad parties tend to be a family affair. They invite not just the kids but parents and family from far and wide attend.

This particular party was a special one, mainly because of her accomplishments in spite of having a brother who has autism. Some of her accomplishments include having a 4.0 GPA which helped in her getting a scholarship to the medical program, learning Bharatanatyam culminating in her arangetram and raising $25,000 for Team Autism during the Detroit marathon.

Why did this celebration affect me so much? Probably because it made me aware that if you want something bad enough, you can achieve it – you just have to work towards it and have the right attitude.

Having a brother who has autism means that a lot of your parents attention is diverted – yet that did not stop her from getting a 4.0. Coming from a north Indian family that does not understand Tamil did not stop her from pursuing a style of dance that culminated in her arangetram -which is a huge achievement. Her love for dance and perseverance got her through. The love for her brother and creating an awareness for autism so that a cure maybe found is what goaded her to help in organizing the Team Autism for the marathon.

When her family, that had traveled from all over the world – Hong Kong, Canada, India – along with family from around the United States, came up to say how proud of her they were – it brought tears to my eyes. So much hope they have in this child and so much she will do – because she is determined and her heart is in the right place. We are so proud of you Nina. May you succeed in everything that you do and God Bless.