What if….

What if you could change the past – what would be the one thing that you would go back and change?

When you are a teenager you are still trying to figure out who you are and what your strengths and weaknesses are. You still don’t know who your friends are. Don’t they say that adversity brings out the true character of a person? How do you know what your character is? How do you if you are making the right decision? What if you make the wrong decision? How would it affect your life or other people’s life?

What answer would you give to the questions above? If someone says ‘I did not have a choice’ – wrong answer. We all have choices. Every decision you make you have a choice. Depending on the choice you make determines the path that life takes on.

Can you change the past? No. But you can make sure you never make the same mistake again. You can sincerely apologize for your stupidity. And you hope your kids learn from your mistakes.

Isn’t that why pencils have erasers? So you can fix your mistakes?

Are you a mean mom?

I remember an article talking about being a mean mom and how good it is for your kids – cause that is what keeps them safe.

I never realized that until my daughter talked to me about her out of town school trip. Now she is not exactly the neatest or organized of people and like most teenagers she needs to be told a million times before she actually gets up and does what she is asked. However, while she was on this trip – she was the one who kept trying to pick up and keep the room clean. She said “I kept hearing your voices in my head to clean up and I could not sleep until I did.”

That is when I realized that the constant repetition does get through their heads eventually. There was a time when I was tired of hearing the sound of my own voice, repeating the same thing over and over again – but I am glad that I still do it.

Kids love order and rules. If they don’t have it – they have no idea what they are capable of. Most organizations have rules. You cannot live in society and expect to get away with not following rules. “I want to go to a school that has rules- so that I can break them” – says my rebellious teenager.

So have heart – if you are the kind of parent that repeats the same request until it gets done, are strict about curfews, want to know who their friends are, you are their parent and not their friend, monitor what they watch, say or do on the web, let them know when you are disappointed in their behaviour, expect them to meet certain expectations – that’s okay – your kids really do want it – they just don’t know it yet.

Time flies

When you send out a query to the universe, you can be certain you will get an answer. A few weeks ago I was thinking about my high school friends and wondered what they were up to. The reason for thinking about them was a discussion between my high schooler and definition of ‘friends’.

in high school – friends seem to define your existence. But what happens after high school has nothing to do with them. You go to college based on your interest, pursue a career based on where you want to go or what life dishes out along the way. You may or may not keep in touch with your friends. Some innocuous remark by some random person in high school is probably what fired up your passion or dimmed what what you wanted to do. Now as you look back more than 20 years since you graduated high school you wonder where you are and what have you accomplished.

How do you define success? Do big titles and lots of money define you? Or does the size of your house or number of cars define you? Or are you still the same passionate person who you were in high school? Are you still the same person who took people at face value and looked beyond their handicaps? Did you confine to the norms and do your duty? Or did you define your own path? Are you happy doing what you are doing or are you till finding out who you are?

For me success is a state of mind. Have I helped people? Yes. Am I judgemental? No.
Are you still learning? You better believe it. Does money and status define who you are? No. So are you still finding out who you are? Sometimes I know who I am and what I need to do but sometimes I have to ask that question – where am i going and what do I want from life.

So my query was answered. A couple days ago I get a note asking if I was the same person who they thought I was who graduated from high school that many years ago. As I get in touch with old friends it is going to be an interesting journey to see where they are and how they got there.

State of the economy and mens underwear

Who would have thought but apparently according to Alan Greenspan – the state of men’s underwear is an indication of the state of the economy.

I really would not have thought of that – but I guess if the spouse did not replace it or you did not go out and get more meaning that you can hang on to a holey pair of stretched elastic and thin cotton for some more time – then you are not confident enough to go out and spend.

So I wonder what happens to the fancy women’s underwear – of course for most of us we can never have enough underwear. I am sure there are those of you who would rather go out an buy new underwear than do laundry.

Michael Brush from MSN money talks about the odd indicators about the state of the economy. Some include the falling and rising of hemlines, the halter tops versus the blouses and baring midriffs.

I am sure if you look at how people look at entertainment will also give you an indication. The cheapest way to have fun – not that there is anything wrong with it – go to a park, have a picnic, eat hot dogs, buy ice cream ride a bike or play Frisbee versus going on a cruise or out to dinner.

I think the recession has given everyone an opportunity to enjoy the simpler things in life. Enjoy!

Patience…

…is a virtue. A very good character to have and very hard to attain. It could be almost a requirement for business, very necessary for teachers and for the current generation.

However it can be seen as non aggressive and taken advantage of. I look at it as if it did not happen it was not meant to be. In this day and age of instant gratification – it is rare that you see that kind of patience. Most people associate it being old – it could be since it takes practise – but it does have something to do with your inner peace.

If you mind is like a drunken monkey jumping from idea to idea – you will not have the patience to see one idea come to fruition. We don’t even have the patience to cook food from scratch – we use the ready made and frozen dinners. having patience soothes agitated minds, helps business negotiations, produces delicious foods and gives a child a chance to learn.

So keep that in mind while you stand in your queue, slow cook or watch your child learn something new.